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I'm just about at my wit's end.

May 23rd, 2007 at 08:51 pm

My youngest brother, the one that I've been supporting off and on since he started school, is really really leaving me frazzled!

I forgot about the 6 transfer limit on savings accounts and with the way things have been going we went over that. I'm only on his savings but not on his checking so I can only deposit to savings. He transfers to checking and goes on his merry way.

So for starters, he got a $10 charge because we did a 7th transfer. Then it all went downhill. I put some money in his savings, just so he'd have money in there, and he overspent and got overdrawn. Well, his overdraft protection kicked in and...transferred from his savings incurring ANOTHER $10 charge and transfer #8 this month.

I dropped in another $20 so his savings account wasn't at -$10 and sent him a text reminding him that he has NO money and to not use his card for Anything.

Today we were talking and he desperately needed some cash for food. So I went and dropped another $40 in his savings account and I called and told him he had $40 in his SAVINGS that he could pull out and that I couldn't transfer it without incurring another $10 fee and possibly incur the wrath of the bank (they mentioned something about his account might get closed if he has too many transfers). I also informed him that that was it for this month so he'd better spend it wisely.

That was a little over an hour ago. I log onto his bank account just now and guess what I found? No just guess. Yup, he pulled the $40 out of CHECKING where there is....NO MONEY. So he's overdrawn AGAIN.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I sent him a text even though I knew he was in class and he's going to high tail it to the bank soon as he's out of class and try to straighten it out. Sometimes if you catch it same day they are lenient but I dunno at this point...

I'm trying to convince him to go to a cash system. Perhaps he'll actually listen to me this time.

8 Responses to “I'm just about at my wit's end.”

  1. JanH Says:

    Yikes! Maybe he can put you on his checking account, too. That seems to be where you need to be. But then again, the cash system might be what he needs to use. Then he'll have to keep track. I am also in discussions with a college student on keeping better track of expenses and what's in the account!

  2. LdyFaile Says:

    I might talk to him about getting on the checking account, I haven't decided yet.

    Right now the VA thinks he's part time student because he took a one day class and they only consider him full time for that day so his GI Bill is about $200 less per month as a result.

    What I'm thinking about doing with him is having him sit down and write out everything he has to pay bills wise then after leaving a cushion of like $20 in his account find out what's left over. Have that be his money for the month. Divide it by 30, gives him a daily amount. He can then go to the bank on Saturdays and withdraw the money he is allowed for the week. He probably won't be able to just pull it out of the atm as I imagine it won't be in multiples of $20. This way he knows exactly how much money he has to spend and it leaves him some cushion for the rest of the month.

    We'll see if that actually works.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Why do this silly dance with transferring money? I'd think it would be much easier to just give him some cash once per week?

  4. LdyFaile Says:

    Because we don't live near each other. I mean, we're not far apart but I see him maybe twice a month if that. I only drop money in his account when it looks precariously like it's going to be overdrawn. A lot of times I'm just barely getting it in his account before something processes that took a couple days.

  5. LuckyRobin Says:

    Maybe its time to stop rescuing him and if he goes over what his budget is, let him deal with the consequences. I know you are somewhat of a mother figure to him instead of just a sister, but he is well past the age of being a grown up, so maybe you need to just let him...grow up. Easier said than done, I know, but you aren't his mama and you aren't his wife and if you were I'd hope you'd give him a swift kick in the assets, instead of continuting to make up for his lack of attention. He probably won't ever change his behavior until he has to. Make him have to. If you want, of course. Smile

  6. Nic Says:

    Why keep him dependant then have to bail him out?
    I understand you want to help him, but it's not really helping him grow up and be responsible and accountable for his actions and behaviors. You may want to ask him WHY he's going through so much money in such a way as to incur charges. You may also want to consider STRONGLY to get your name off of ANY type of account you have w/him be it savings or checking. It may come back to haunt you.

  7. MsSuperSaver Says:

    I agree with everyone...you definitely don't want your name on an account that is always being overdrawn if there is any way it will come back on your credit report. If you see him twice a month, why not give him cash twice a month and let him handle it on his own? You can teach him how to balance his checking account, you can teach him how to be a good shopper, you can teach him how to save money but ultimately he will have to be responsible for the financial decisions he makes (I learned this the hard way with a sister who seemed to always need rescuing. Now when I dont rescue her she finds someone else who will so I figured it has less to do with financial need and more to do with psychological need).

  8. Special Ed Says:

    I have to agree with getting out of his accounts. Especially since they are so screwed up. Send him a check every week or month and let him deal with it. If half of it gets eaten up in fees then he has to deal with it instead of you worrying about it. Right now he doesn't care about the fees because he knows you will bail him out. I also think that this is not helping him work toward being responsible with his (and your) money. Missing a few meals could be the best thing for him.

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